10 things to know before marrying one of my kids


Scott Bahnson

Prologue to the early writings of a book that is underway

2016 is now 2 weeks from the history books. I would suspect neither of my kids will even be engaged by the time this book “goes to press”. But one can never guess when it comes to love and commitment. Charlie, my son, is 45 days short of 22 years. My daughter, Maggie, is now 17. I would think this gives me plenty of time to complete the book. Today this is simply a Blog. It is just a glimpse of what will become a book. (A book that I plan to wrap and give to whomever my son or daughter marry, the very day they announce their respective engagements). That day will be filled with excitement and the intent of this book is simply to communicate or express my expectations and viewpoints as your soon to be Father-in-Law. We want you to be truly excited about joining our family. I want you to call me DAD.  I truly hope that you will get to know our family fairly well and that is also part of my intention when writing this book.  It is titled “10 things to know before marrying one of my kids”, but it I may change that to “10 things to know about our family…before walking down the isle.” before i finish my works. I communicate best in writing. Welcome to our family. I am most pleased you will soon be a part of it. Here is a brief peek into my book that is officially underway. (the start of Chapter 1)

Chapter 1. Christmas

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. A time that family should make every effort to be together. Keep in mind you are now quite close to being part of our family. While the “ultimate prize” is to see you both every single Christmas I understand that may not be reality. We realize you have family too and that you may even find yourselves living in a different part of the country. But you would sure make Nancy and I happy by being with us at a minimum, every other year for Christmas. Please make plans and budget your time for this important day. We will make it worth your while. We have been fortunate as we have lived in a city where both of our parents currently live. A key to our happy 21 years of marriage is that we were fair and spent time with both sets of parents every year on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. To reiterate… being fair on these special days are quite imperative at least to our side of the family. So what makes Christmas so special to me? Church, music and choir concerts. Cookies and putting up the Christmas tree and of course…snow. A time to reflect on the year that is about to pass. Thankfulness and giving. Being blessed! All reasons to surround ourselves with family. Let’s make it a tradition!

Chapter 2.  Christ 1st -Family 2nd & Work 3rd.

Life always always always goes best when our family follows this order of importance.  We do our best to go to Church. I do my best to pray and set good examples. But we are human and the Lord knows that.  We fail often and are not perfect- and we will always fall short of that.  I can tell you first hand, however, that being Christian and believing in Jesus Christ is essential. We may have met you on earth, but want to one day see you in heaven too.   Family does come next. In fact, specifically spouse ranks #2. I find that Trust as the most important piece of a solid relationship followed closely by open communication.   If you both are Christian and treat each other with respect and always trust each other and openly communicate, the bond of love will prevail.   Work… Yes- surely 3rd in priority I feel.  Work to me is not work if you enjoy what you do.  It ranks 3rd in my opinion of priority because if you believe in God and take care of your spouse, then work will fall into place and will get the “job” done when it comes to your needs/wants. This Chapter is not easy stuff but I feel it is important enough to point out about our family beliefs before walking down that isle.

Chapter 3.  Both kids are writers.

it me that passed on this writing gene? Or was it Mrs. Keekley, and English teacher and media advisor at St. Louis Park high school that was named the 2016 National High School Journalism teacher of the year that taught them well.   In any case they are both quite skilled at writing.  (Both kids were quite involved with the school newspaper called,  the Echo and held top positions while part of it).  I believe it’s the Echo that was the steppingstone that both found the most beneficial part of their high school life. It made them leaders and it drove them both to set goals and pushed them above and beyond. I’ll never forget Charlie helping Maggie edit papers while she was in Jr High School but what was most shocking was Charlie asking Maggie to edit  or review his papers when he got to college. Their Grandpa B. is a romantic writer, so maybe you are hoping it is in the genes.

Chapter 4.  Cross TRUST  off the list of worry.

If there is one word to describe our family- it would be TRUST.  It starts with the commitment my wife and I made 24 years ago along with both kids grandparents that have been married twice that long.  You have to trust each other in all circumstances.  Whether it be the check book, or where to live, or what career drives you in life.  Just trust.  Charlie and Maggie both can be trusted.  You cannot fake that characteristic.  Trust is one of those “must haves” once married.

It will keep you married


One thought on “10 things to know before marrying one of my kids

  1. Pingback: 10 things to know before marrying one of my kids | bahnsonblogger's Blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: